Treet! Almost as much fun as Spam.

The inspiration for this column came from, of all places, this blog. I occasionally will look through the comments left on this blog, the paucity of which convinces me that I'm only writing this for myself. A few weeks ago, there was a comment posted to the column on ILM. "Hooray!"I said to myself "Someone actually reads my drivel!" Alas, it was someone leaving the blog equivilant of spam.

We all know spam, right? That unwanted junk that shows up in our e-mail boxes full of fabulous offers to make us rich - if we will only help a Nigerian Prince transfer millions to our bank accounts - and to assist us in pleasing our spouse (nudge nudge, wink wink). Some spam is almost worth reading, if for no other reason then the comedy. Most, however, clog up our e-mail like hair and soap in a drain.

So, just as I figured that the bottom feeder purveyors of electronic mucous can't dip any lower, along comes something new - spam in my blog comments. Only, it's not very inventive spam, not particularly enticing, and not even entertaining. It is near-spam. Hence the title's analogy, for we all know that Treet is another company's version of Spam but not real Spam. I'm sure that the vermin infecting my blog think they are being clever by trying to make it look like a real post but they are not fooling anyone. It's like a rat masquerading as a squirral and wondering why everyone is staring at its long naked tail.

What I don't get is what they hope to accomplish. With real spam, you play a numbers game. Spam is so cheap to send out that if only a tiny fraction of the most gullible respond, you've done your job. Granted, your job is about as popular as a Roman tax collector in 5 B.C. but hey! we all have to eat. With treet, you have to hope that I'm (just me) particularly stupid or silly. How many people will actually read the comments in a blog, let alone the comments in a blog about technology from a relatively obscure analyst? Not the millions you need to make spam worthwhile. It seems like a proposition with a low return on investment.

Of course, if enticed by the treet, it pays to consider that it is unlikely that people who are spewing it out are not reaching much of an audience and most probably wasting their time. This is much the same way you need to consider what is in real Treet (or Spam) before deciding to eat it. You can't pop open a can of Treet, have lunch, and then complain that you don't like ham. If the method of marketing is this lame, it says something about what any business proposition (or other type of proposition) would be worth. Less than a can of Treet I would think.

So, while not nearly as low or dispicable as black hat hackers, virus makers, con artists, and ancient Roman tax collectors, these treet people are pretty close to the bottom rung of the social ladder. Worse, they are not even good con artists and scammers. I've seen better out of street people in Buffalo, NY.

To end, I would ask that the people who feel the need to dirty up my blog comment space with this trash, stay away. And while you're at it, how about leaving everyone else alone too. Go bother the folks at MSNBC or CNET. At least someone is reading those blogs.

Note: I have nothing against real Treet or Spam or any of the other fine product from Hormel or Armour. I don't eat either but who am I to say what someone finds delightful for lunch. Having eaten cold Spam out of a C-ration can, I can tell you that there were times I was really glad there was Spam. But not spam (small s). In no way do I mean to imply the companies that make these fine products, or the people that eat them are bottom dwelling, blood sucking lampreys. I reserve that for the spam (small s) and treet (small t) folks. Thanks!